The more I think about this whole job loss issue more depressed I get. Come on really, your supposed to move forward in life, move to other cities because it's a promotion of a sort, better money, better enviroment, or just cause you want to live there. We will just be moving (God willing Hubby gets a job) not likely to a place either of us is excited about, not to a job that will be better pay, money or prestige. Just a J-O-B.
Today as I'm eating ice cream with the boys at the local landmark custard stand it hit me when I bumped into someone I haven't seen in a couple of years -we've both had boys since - that when I move I'll have to start over that sense of community again. New contacts, new church, new doctors, new civic groups, new ice cream places etc etc. I've just gotten settled here, I finally don't have to get out a map to go most places anymore. I can get around the city to major spots unassisted. If there is an emergency I can call 1/2 dozen people or more to lend me a hand without feeling like I'm imposing on them. I have a reliable babysitter when I need her. When we move we'll be going to a completly new enviroment and none of that will exist.
Five years ago we moved up here with a sense of adventure. This move move is filled with fear and trepidation. The whole thought of starting over again weighs heavily on me. Looking at my flower beds blooming angers me because I've put work into them and now they will no longer belong to me and it's not my choosing. Makes me hesitant to put down roots along with the flowers and settle into a place and call it home.
I suppose I could be more excited about moving and new jobs and such if it looked like we would be moving to a part of the country that was known for outdoor adventure, majestic beauty, sandy white beaches etc. However it basically looks like we'll be moving to St. Louis, (at least at this writing could change by Monday night) thrilling, a town known for a stainless steel arch and draft horses pulling a beer wagon. I would much rather move back home to AR than move to middle of corn country. Sorry dear reader if your from there maybe you can enlighten me with more to do.
Anyhow I'm trying my best to pull myself together and I'm doing a little better. Hope your doing better than I.
WINNIE'S LITTER Just a little blog of the ins and outs and ups and downs in the life of a mom.
2 comments:
The area to the west of St Louis is beautiful rolling hills and forest. I hope that with time, all that you have here will happen there and maybe more.
You will have lots of Ukraine adoption buddies in STL -- growingmassiefamily.blogspot.com and markandcourtney.blogspot.com. Email me when you arrive and we will try to ease the transition - monica dot massie at wachovia dot com.
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