Tuesday, February 24, 2009


Isn't it amazing how one little thing can just send you into overload? My final straw was the van not starting yesterday morning when it was time to go get Sonny Boy from preschool. I was literally in tears calling Hubby at work having a breakdown in the driveway. Why? It was no big deal, I'm a big girl, I know how to jump a car - used to do it all the time when I worked in the automotive department at wal-mart in college so why did the need to drag out the battery charger and hook it up send me into a melt down?

These are the reasons in no paticular order, though some certainly are bigger worries.

Hubby's possible upcoming job loss - though nothing has actually been done yet the writing on the wall appears darker and darker.

Prepping the house for sell, the cabinets we had on order are now on backorder for another week and a half - in the meantime we've already ripped off the meager shelving we had in the kitchen and all the dishes are stacked in the dining room. Dealing with Menards and their refusal to care however I did get them to agree to a full refund if I can find cabinets in stock somewhere - problem is I'm trying to match some exisisting cabinets that no one seems to carry in stock.

The whole fear of keeping the house is "show condition" for God knows how long with two little kids running amok.

Knowing that Hubby's job is on the line I'm trying to line up some career goals of my own - nursing school which appears out of the question now, a teaching cert in WI? well maybe but what if we move to FL or NV? I'm in limbo and quite frankly not very marketable in the best of times. What the heck do you do with a history degree?

Dealing with the loss and hope of another adoption which even hubby was set to start again, but we just can't do it now and even if the job stays put we will stay in an apartment for several months till the economic situation settles and we feel safe again. Then there is a long wait just for the adoption aspect.

The upcoming loss of my dog. We are giving her away since we most likely will not be able to keep her in an apartment and it's not conducive to showing the house etc. While I'm not terribly attached to the dog I will miss her.

Attach these big worries with the daily stress of life with two young kids and I'm literally tied in knots. I'm literally in the bathroom a dozen times a day ( I know TMI). I must cut this short, I just needed some venting. I'm off this afternoon to hopefully find some cabinets in town so we can get the kitchen put back together.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

A little Rant.

Normally I don't blog about much, the kids mostly and a few fun things but I've been thinking lately, the octoplet mom sent me into a tailspin on the subject. I won't go there, plenty has been said EVERYWHERE about that craziness but it got me thinking about very large families in general.

There are a few families in the Ukrainian adoption community that are quite large. Mostly it is because the families have repeatedly adopted older children and special needs children and grown their family that way. It appears that the families (two in particular I'm thinking of) are financially and emotionally stable enough to support the craziness that must occur in households of 10+ children. I commend them for their dedication to giving families to children who would most likely live out their days in institutions or released into the bleak circumstances of an orphanage "graduate". I am glad people like them exist, I don't know how they do it but I'm glad they do.

The ones that perturb me to no end are the Duggers, if your not familiar with them they have their own show on cable called "16 and counting" but I think the actual number now is 17 with another one on the way. The family drives me bats with their holier than thou attitude. If they are so bible based why don't they follow the teaching to take care of orphans instead of procreating yet again? I find the fact that society is glorifying their whole huge family thing by giving them a TV show, they are regulars on the am talk shows and a few years ago Mrs. Duggar was named "Arkansas Mother of the Year". Is simply giving birth to two baseball teams worthy of making you mother of the year?

I'm sure you ask why do I know so much about the Duggers? I have watched the show, I'm guilty, sure who doesn't want to see how such a large family operates - maybe I can pick up a tip or two for my small brood, however it appears that the older girls get the brunt of the work associated with the family. Don't get me wrong, kids should certainly help, but to put two teenagers in charge of laundry for 20 people! That's a full time job in and of it's self.

Sorry to be so belligerent about all this. I'm really just curious if anyone else finds them as bizarre as I do. Please leave a comment on this, I know your reading! I would REALLY like to hear from Thereed & MommaJeane if you actually have time to read.

On a different note, I do like the show "John & Kate plus 8" I know they have a huge family as well, but they didn't set out to have 6 babies at once. I like the actual reality of the show, kids screaming and throwing things, the mom loosing her cool and the house looking like a bomb went off. Are they taking advantage of having a T.V. show - you betcha, I doubt the big vacations to Disney etc would be taken without the help and paycheck of the TV show. I only hope that they are putting aside some of the cash for the kid's futures.

Ok, off my soapbox of reality TV shows about large families.

For my own tiny little brood, we are doing well. Since taking Igor to the feeding team thing his eating is picking up - go figure. Spend a fortune, do nothing, and there is a big difference lately. I pray in continues as it lowers my stress level considerably. We will still go into the therapy a few more times but if things continue at this rate I doubt we will be at it much longer.

My biggest conundrum now is what to do about pre-school for Igor. I'm pretty sure he will qualify for services from the school district for speech, however they will not evaluate him until middle of the summer and determine how much and days he will attend or even if he will attend at all. The problem is that registration for preschool is now and to get him a spot and be able to choose what days he attends I need to register him now, especially if I want him in a certain teacher's class. I'm hoping the preschool will work with me on this as I've already discussed it with them and it's the same preschool Sonny Boy has attended the last 3 years.

On a more somber note, it appears the economy is hitting home now. Due to uncertainty with Hubby's job we are going to put our house on the market. I know it's not the most opportune time to do it, however if the axe falls on his job it would be nice to not have a mortgage hanging over our heads and the need to sell our house super quick because likely as not, if the pink slip is delivered, we will move from the area as Hubby's job opportunities are fairly scattered. I tell him if we are moving across country again this time I vote for Hawaii! Hopefully though his job will remain and we will just stuff into an apartment for a while until it appears things are stable and then buy another house. Hubby likes his job, benefits are good, pay is reasonable, and he gets along well with his co-workers so there is no reason to actually leave until we know more for sure.

Well I guess that's all. All you lurkers COME OUT THE CYBER CLOSET I'd at least like to know who you are.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Don't Google that medical jargon!!

The feeding team appointment went very well today - after we got there that is. To start off we were running late, we get to the city and Hubby is driving and I'm navigating since I know the way there, however the exit snuck up on me and we were in the far left lane of a 4 lane interstate so we missed the exit. We take the next exit planning to make a u-turn and jump back on the interstate, as we sit at a red light Igor wakes up, gives a wimpy little whine and then projectile vomits from the middle row of the van all the way to the dashboard. I kid you not! Puke went over Hubby's shoulder and onto the dash. After I recovered from initial revulsion ( I'm really bad at puke) I hop in the back and pull Igor out of his seat and lay him down in the back of the van all the while hubby is looking for an on ramp - well guess what there was no on ramp back to where we had just come from! He did however see signs that would lead him to the interstate and started following those. Meanwhile in the back of the van I'm stripping puke clothes off of Igor and digging through the emergency diaper bag that was in the van cussing WI for freezing all the wipes. Luckily I had a change of clothes in the bag, but I will admit they were ridiculous and about 3 sizes too small for Igor but at least they were clean. Eventually we intersect the road that we had wanted to take the exit for and are soon at the clinic. Couple the fact we were running a little late and scenic route it was amazing that we pulled up at the building with about 5 min to spare. Luckily there is valet parking there ( I know, kinda strange but wonderful in this instance) so we left the puke covered van with the thrilled attendant and ran for the appointment and made the door with no time to spare!

At the appointment we met with a wide range of diciplines from pych, GI, speech and nutrition. We played 1001 questions and they watched Igor eat through a two way mirror. The news we got was mixed. There is no quick fix to the issues, it will take therapy and persaverance but on the upside they thought that he will make progress and this probably will not be a prolonged battle of years and years. Well the reason for the title? The doctors seem to think he has some of the charachteristics of syndrome. I'll post what it is if we get actually diagnosis as we are running a gene test now to see. The syndrome has a wide range of things associated with it and can go from mild to severe. The problem is when you google something like that you get a lot of scary stuff. My moral for the day is don't google anything medical until you have a confirmed diagnosis in your hand. Stay away from the computer if you must, that way if the test comes back negative you say "Thank Goodness" and go on none the wiser and saved yourself much stress.

Needless to say we had to ride home 45 min in a puke scented van- I don't think that's an air fragrance you can find on one of those little pine trees.

I want to remark on how great the experience with the feeding team was. It was wonderful to have all the people involved in something that would have taken weeks of appointments and answering the same questions repeatedly to get to same conclusions. I reccomend that if you have an issue that several specialties should be consulted with to see if there is some team approach that can work like this.

Well nothing terribly new, we'll start feeding therapy again with the therapis there ( she's actually a PHD) so I hope she'll have some insights into this and how to work with Igor.

It's a relief to see some progress in this area.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

GOOD News!

Children's Hospital called on Monday morning and rescheduled Igor's appointment from May 22 to tomorrow!! Yay!! They said that there was a cancellation, I can't imagine anyone canceling after waiting 4-5 months but I guess they did. Tomorrow we will trek to Children's, hubby will accompany us to the appointment as I'm sure it will be a quiz fest and I always feel if I'm being grilled and tested, makes me nervous. I've talked to Igor's speech therapist and she thinks there might be some structural issues related to adnoids, tonsils, or his pallette which is VERY highly arched. I hate to say that I wish surgery on my child, but honestly an easy out-patient surgery with a week or so recovery and then normal eating would be wonderful, much easier than dealing with therapy for months on end. I hope something is easily diagnosed and treated.

Other Igor related news - the kid has really made a dramtic difference in his personality the last month or two. He has always been a happy, easy-going kid and for the most part that hasn't changed, we are just seeing him really start to blossom socially and adjustment wise. Socially he's really wanting to play along and started a lot of pretend play. At his little speech therapy play group he's participating in all the songs and games and loves it. Adjustment wise he's finally starting to settle that this is home I suppose. Naps are frequently at least 1 1/2 hours sometimes 2 though somedays still short. Igor sleeps much more soundly at night and most nights doesn't wake to be soothed at all. That's a boon! Bedtimes are easy! The only bad side to the adjustment is we are seeing a lot more attitude, some doozy temper tantrums that I don't see a reason for and a lot of testing of limits.

I guess that's about all. I'll update if there is any worthy news from the feeding clinic appointment tomorrow.