Random thoughts that have me on edge.

Bear with me here, I'm tired, should really go to bed but know things will swirl around in my mind too much to sleep tonight so maybe by writing all this brain garbage down it will dump into cyberspace and and allow me some sleep tonight.

I was just recently linking round on some blogs, just browsing around not looking for anything particular and came across a couple of blogs written by irate birth mothers that really ticked me off. I understand that these women feel as if they were forced into placing their child for adoption, and I will probably even give them the benefit of the doubt that some unsavory practices were used to get them to sign over their rights. However what I don't understand is their total nastiness to all adoption. I got the distinct impression that in their eyes adoption is awful, no matter what the circumstances and that really makes me mad. I really wanted to know if they thought that my adoption of Igor (or any other adoption from an orphanage) is a horrible thing, but quite frankly I'm tired and didn't feel like the fight, maybe I'll go battle it later. One blog had something to the effect of you don't know how a child's life would have turned out, you don't have a crystal ball. No, I don't have a crystal ball but I know what I saw with my own two eyes. I know I met a child who did not utter a sound because no one interacted with him beyond the bare necessities of keeping him alive, I know the child I adopted came to me with a back that was bruised black and blue and yellow from neck to tailbone, I know I adopted a child who was terrified of water as every bathing experience he had ever had was not fun or pleasant in the least, I know I adopted a child who did not know how to chew solid foods though he had a mouthful of teeth, I know I adopted a child who's birth mother LEFT him at the hospital to die and never once looked back to see if he was alive. These are things I know, and a person telling me (or whoever her intended audience was) it was wrong of me to give that child a family, food, teach him to speak, teach him to walk, teach him that baths are not torture and that he will ALWAYS have a mother, father and a big brother and a whole host of extended family to care for him is wrong makes my blood boil.

Today I attended a birthday party for another Ukrainian born child, at that party where two other Ukrainian adoptees besides my own. Four boys who will now have the best medical care, the best therapies, and birthday parties every year. Four boys who will have the chance to grow up in families that value them, families that will cherish them when their home countries and birth families did not. Does that woman who wrote that blog really think that is wrong? Would that blogger really think that these children are better off in an orphanage? I hope not.

I do understand that most of her anger was directed at domestic infant adoption, I do not discount the heartache that the birthmothers go through, but to be so irate against adoption in general I do no not understand. Acting as if infertile couples were the devil's spawn and that they could only see her as a womb. I just really want to ask that blogger does she honestly understand the pain that infertility brings to a couple? Can she put herself in their shoes and walk a mile or five, or go through the gauntlet of medical tests, probing (all of which are too personal) and the constant questions from family and friends as to when your going to start a family or add to it.

Sorry, I'll get off my soapbox now. Those blogs got my goat.

One more item that's gotten my goat is that crazy lady from TN who put her kid back on a plane and dumped him at the MOE (Ministry of Education) in Moscow. Again, I don't know what was going on in that household, and frankly I don't care. If she honestly felt there was a safety issue with the child being in her home there were so many better options available to her. At the very least she could have gone to the nearest police station and said I can no longer care for this child, or admitted him to a pyschiarict unit of a hospital. I really do hope that every charge that can be brought against her and the grandmother happens. I do feel sorry for the boy that was shipped back to Moscow like a pair of shoes, the bio child of that woman as I would imagine he'll end up in foster care now (hopefully he has some normal family members that will care for him) and my heart goes out to all those PAP's (prospective Adoptive Parents) in process as it appears at the very least there will be a severe slow down if not an outright stoppage of Russian adoptions for a while.

Well my brain garbage has dumped. You can probably tell from the amount of type-o's, grammatical errors and simple misspellings I'm tired.