Two Year Mark

Two years ago today was our appointment with the SDA in Kiev, Ukraine. Nervous does not even begin to describe how we were feeling walking into the inconspicuous door on the side of large non-descript government building. Would we be shown children in our age range? Would be shown children with disabilities that would be way beyond our ability to tackle? We weren't even sure if it'd be a boy or a girl. Had we just mortgaged our house for a trip to a country we would have never vacationed in? We were shown several files, most of the children had severe disabilities, more than we could ever have taken on, generally we didn't even need the scant information given us about the child, it was easily seen in his/her picture. We were reluctant and starting to discuss the possibility of asking for another appointment when the lady left the room and came back with Igor's file. The little information we were given on him was shaky but but much less scary than the other and the picture was of a completely normal appearing infant though we knew he was much older

Igor's referral picture at SDA, about 5 months old

After a day of waiting on paperwork, sightseeing in Kiev and an overnight train ride across the country we met Igor.

Second visit with Igor on the afternoon we met him.

I'll let you go through back to March '08 for all the details of the next few days. Today is another story though. Today marks the anniversary of our very scared and tentative agreement to go see this child. Though it was a couple of more days before we actually saw Igor and a few more days before we made the commitment to him to be his parents. March 11 will always be an important date in our family.

Currently Igor is thriving. While I wouldn't call him on target for all the areas developmental specialist look at, he's come a long way Baby! Honestly I can't tell you how many inches he's grown, I do know he's gained about 12 lbs though. Not bad for a kid that gagged when fed lumpy applesauce when he got here. Igor flew home in a size 12 month jumper. Today he's wearing 2T and 3T for his length, but he needs a belt to hold them up. His speech has improved so dramatically in the last 6 months it's amazing. He asks so many questions it will make your head spin. " What's that for?, Why you do that?, What's that in your hand? Where's Daddy? What are you cooking? " so on and so forth. I will tell you the kid questions EVERY move I make during the day. This from a kid who did not speak at all in any language when we met him and was considered very delayed even by orphanage standards.

Emotionally I don't think we could ask for more. He is strongly attached to me and Sonny Boy, Hubby maybe not as much but he certainly seeks out Hubby and is happy to get snuggles from his dad as well as his mom. I don't have any qualms about that at all.

Igor does have a few funny quirks. He cackles when he laughs, like a witch in a movie, seriously it cracks me up to just hear him. I don't think he ever giggles like a normal child but he sure cackles a lot. Igor also is a neat freak. He cleans up behind every one of us (when he wants to of course) and thinks getting to put things in the garbage is the neatest thing in the world. Overall he's an easy going child who is eager to please. I really get the impression that sometimes he can't believe his luck! Don't get me wrong we still get a lot of typical three year old stuff, he can whine with the best of them - like nails on a chalkboard to me, he and Sonny Boy will go at it tooth and nail sometimes and if there was an award for pouting he'd win it.

Igor just the other day on our museum visit.

I know many people stumble over my blog looking for experiences in Ukrainian adoption, adoption of a toddler, international adoption and the like. That's good, that's why I started this blog, my idea of public service to the international adoption world. Goodness knows that reading blogs taught me so much about the process, cultural experiences while in country and something of what to expect. While I know the actual adoption process has changed somewhat from our trip I like to think there are still some lessons to be learned from my experience if your game for digging into the back posts.

Please don't think I post all sunshine and lollipops and hide the bad concerning Igor. We certainly face our challenges with Igor but nothing I find overwhelming. I say this to tell you that many of the children that come home from other countries are perfectly fine after an adjustment period (see ours in the archives) and I believe that's why many people discontinue blogging not long after returning home, they are just too busy living a life of school, work, soccer and dance class and no longer have the time, energy or need the outlet that blogging provides. It seems to me the blogs you find that are long running after returning home tend to come from people who are facing major difficulties with issues such as PTSD, RAD and a whole alphabet soup of diagnoses. While these letters are certainly a possibility that every prospective adoptive parent should be well versed in and know the signs of, they are really relatively rare and many times when present can be worked through and the family can find their new normal. So basically what I'm saying is don't let all stuff scare you away from adoption, yes it is scary, yes the child can have major issues, yes all sorts of nightmares may follow. You know what though? All the alphabet soup of problems (with the possible exception of FAS) can and do occur when people give birth, granted they are more rare but there are children born into the most wonderful and loving homes with RAD, and we are all just one horrible experience (ie bad car accident) from developing PTSD.

Now on to the more mundane stuff of life.

Gosh I have been busy but also so lazy. I've ridden twice this week and of course have still been working at the barn. I've decided to put in a little garden though there is nothing but grass in the backyard which is proving a problem when trying to dig up a plot. Hubby has said he will help me dig this weekend. I suppose a roto-tiller is in order but I'm trying do this on the cheap so a shovel will work. The biggest problem is the amount of grass which really must be dug out mostly by hand anyway. What inspired all the farmer Winnie you ask? (or maybe not) I watched the documentary Food Inc. If you haven't seen it - well I don't know what to tell you. It's certainly disturbing knowing where our food comes from. While I knew livestock did not live idyllic lives in pastures I liked to pretend anyway. Honestly makes you think. I think though that if we ever live in a place where a few chickens and a pig or two could be handled I might do it. While I like animals as pets, I like to eat bacon too and knowing the animal was kept humanely would ease something in my mind.

So I guess that's about it. Really must do something around here or the health department may show up.