I Must Be Nuts

They (of the all knowing) say that you can tell a lot about a person from their hands.  I suppose that's true.  My nails are ragged and torn, very short, from a bad habit I've tried to break most of my life of picking at my soft nails. Slight callouses line my palms from yard work and other chores.  Often the skin on my fingertips is stained with paint or food color from some project or another.  The skin on my hands is rough and chapped, usually begging to be greased down with some sort of hand cream.  All these things would be obvious to the casual palm reader, it wouldn't take a 120 year old gypsy to make these out.  I wonder though what people would think of my new callous.  It's the strangest thing, it is on the tips of my middle finger and pointer finger of my left hand, just on the edge of the end of my wicked short fingernail.  The pointer finger callous is less pronounced, the one on the middle finger was so thick I clipped it down with nail clippers.  It took me a bit to figure out what in the heck I was doing to form these strange callouses.  We are not talking a place on your hands where anything seems to rub on a constant basis, then in dawned on me.

I formed them rubbing my own neck.  The pressure of the edge of my fingernail rubbing on my skin while I pressed and manipulated the muscles and tendons that leave me in pain near constantly.  Yes, I rub my neck so much with my left hand I have formed callouses.  Hard to believe I know, then I started noticing just how much I do this.  Pretty much every time  there is a pause I pushing and prodding at the spots on my neck.   Driving, waiting in line, shopping for cereal, poking at the Ipad, reading a book.  Just about anytime I don't actually need two hands to accomplish the task.  Young children that know me must think my arm is surgically attached to my neck.

There is hope for relief in the future. (hopefully very soon)  My doctor referred me to a neurologist saying she though Botox would be beneficial.  Three weeks of waiting on the appointment and I talked to the new doc and she seems to think a round of Botox would do me a world of good.  Yay, that's what I'm here for, let's do it.  Alas, insurance must be consulted, specialty pharmacies get involved and three weeks more I still don't have a firm date for the procedure.  I do see some light as I had phone calls from insurance gathering data and asking me my allergies.

My sanity though is somewhat questionable.  The Botox procedure is something like 30+ shots in my hairline, scalp, neck and shoulders.  I must be the only person the planet actively looking forward to getting shots in my head.  Constant pain will do that a person.