The maybe post

This morning the alarm clock went off at 7:00.  I have no idea why, I must have set it out of habit when I went to bed last night.  Five minutes later I got a text from Hubby with a picture of Sonny Boy in a ground blind with a pink sunrise behind him.  I was awake.  I debated getting up, coffee sounded fantastic but I had stayed up reading last night and knew that the siren song of a nap would call me, so I forced myself back to sleep to wake up at 11:00 with nice headache going.  I hate that.  Now I'm drinking coffee and hoping the ibuprofen is up to the task because if I take my migraine meds I'm pretty much done being productive today.

Another week of near daily medical appointments has passed.  Monday I took Igor into the orthotics maker guy to be casted for new shoe inserts.  Hopefully insurance will cooperated as the doctor said insurance doesn't like to pay for his specific kind of orthotic anymore.  A work around exist in the form of prescribing a bigger (and probably way more expensive) brace and then cutting it down to only the nest the needs.  I hate when insurance plays doctor,  I think my child's doctor ( who happens to be head or orthopedic surgery at the #3 ranked children's hospital in the country) is capable of determining what he needs.  I digress.   Tuesday I went to the doctor who sent me to a gynecologist on Friday with hopes of managing my night sweats.   Gynecologist played with some meds however they aren't in at the pharmacy so I have to wait till Monday to start them.  Mom had an appointment with a kidney doctor as well.  Doctor appointments are a part time job for me.

I finally ram rodded mom into hiring a cleaning lady.  I brought in three candidates for her meet and for them to give estimates on the mess.  The last service wouldn't do things like a load or two of laundry or dishes so they were ruled out.  I think the place scared them actually.  Hopefully the girl hired will work out.  I have a semi-guilt complex about forcing mom to pay somebody because in actuality I really could do the work, and I probably would if it was just the heavy cleaning but she doesn't even make attempts at cleaning up behind herself, heck my kids at least throw their garbage and recycle away (most of the time).   I also spent a good amount of time digging through a massive paperwork pile that was her dining room table finding items she swore she never got and a mess of bills that make no sense to anyone.  I still have loads of papers to dig through and organize.  I have decided I'm just going to handle all of her bills and such forward and told her that.  Honestly, I think she's so stressed by dealing with daily life it paralyzes her into inaction.  I've really started to see a decline in her cognitive skills in the last few months.  Until recently I think she could mostly pull the wool over a strangers eyes regarding her abilities but more often lately I can see people's expressions of "she's not all there is she?"

The weather has been beyond beautiful the last week.  I managed to get out and mow, and  spent a massive amount of time with the weed eater.  Hopefully today I can get out and prep my flower beds for winter so hopefully they are not too straggly.  For now though I'm going to drink some more coffee, and take an excedrin (probably give myself some caffeine shakes) and hope this damn headache slacks off.


I wrote this like two weeks ago and never posted because I thought it needed more editing that I felt up to at the time.  Now I'm just posting it warts and all because I no longer care.