Monday, May 21, 2012

Talkin' 'bout my generation....

The sandwich generation as they like to call us.  Though somehow I feel as if Hubby and I have gotten it WAY too early.  Isn't this supposed to happen when your kids are in high school or college or something, not in the preschool / early elementary years?  What a crappy patch of life right now.

Father-in-law's cancer diagnosis is official now and he opted to do some mild chemo treatments.  He had his first treatment last week and became violently ill for several days.  The doctor theorizes that FIL had some sort of bug he'd been fighting and the chemo wiped his immune system and he fell prey.   The chemo shouldn't have made him that sick.  Now the plan is to give him a couple of weeks to recover, take some antibiotics and then they will try the chemo again.  Hubby, the kids, and I went up to Minnesota over the weekend and pulled the camper with us.  Hubby and various members of the family worked and got electrical hookups installed so FIL can stay at his camper this summer on his riverfront property.  We left our camper there as I plan on going back as soon as school is out for a week or longer so the kids can hang out with grandpa some.  While I'm not scared to pull the camper across the state, I'd much rather do it with Handy Hubby along in case something crazy happens.  Hubby will come up and spend some time around Father's day before we come back.  The chemo is not really supposed to force a remission, just buy some time.

Mom stayed home this weekend and did little to nothing.  Beautiful weather and she never left the house, never took a walk, went to the store.  She ate an entire package of mini-cupcakes.  I've tapped just about every resource I can in the county to get her some mental health care but the earliest I can get her in is August.  We do have an appoinment made for her in late June with a regular MD but that seems a long way away, and I don't know how aggressive the doctor will be with antidepressants.  It's very hard dealing with her utter lack of enthusism for anything and I get REALLY tired of being this bossy witch that has to literally drag her around.  I suppose I could just let her wallow in her own misery until she gets to the doctor and save myself the trouble, but I'm pretty sure she would sink even further into depression. 

I'm not quite sure how to play this anymore as the boys are even telling me I'm bossy.  Some I think they may be getting from their Grandmother, but I do feel as if I'm running my own little bootcamp somedays with a bunch green recruits that need instruction on how to do everything.  I do my best to bite my tongue about many things, but when I'm told " I would have taken out the trash and recycling but I didn't know which bin was which" I have a tendency to want to go beserk when the lid to the giant recycle bin has RECYCLABLES ONLY printed on the top.  REALLY, you can't figure out that?  There is also an element of guilt as she hasn't gotten this depressed and confused overnight.  I haven't really lived near her in 8+ years so I haven't been with her to doctor appointments and seen that she doesn't get dressed unless forced or was/is totally unable to walk around the block. 

I wish I had a sibling.

The stress may be taking a toll on Sonny Boy as well as his teacher has reported he is becoming disruptive in the classroom and his school work is suffering.  Much of the trouble stems from goofing around with another boy whom we (and his teacher) have forbidden him contact with inside the school building.  The other kid is a little spazzy like Sonny Boy and when he combines with similar the effects are explosive.  Needless to say we have grounded Sonny Boy from all electronics until school is out and I have promised him he will redo any work that is not up to snuff. 

Igor is finally starting to settle and be a little nicer - knock on wood.  He did get his nose out of joint this weekend when I was talking to his younger cousin but soon got over it.

Well it's late and I'd like a full night of sleep tonight.

1 comment:

Lin said...

Siblings oftentimes add to the stress. If they don't help or question what you are doing with your parents, it can make things worse. Know this by experience.

I'm sorry that you are feeling overwhelmed these days. It is an awful time to have to take care of so many people, and you have the right to be crabby. The important thing is to remember to make time to laugh too. Sounds like you need to schedule a family fun night or something where NOBODY is allowed to be crabby or sad. Make some popcorn, play some games and just connect as a family.

Make an appointment for your mom and tick the days off on a calendar. All you can do is try to get her to move and then go without her if you have to. Don't stress yourself out over that anymore. She isn't just lazy--she has a problem that needs medical assistance.

Hugs, pally. Hang in there!