Tuesday, June 2, 2015

By a thousand cuts

I can't say that anything huge is brewing around here lately.  No major issues but honestly I feel like I'm being slowly killed by one pin prick at a time.  I'm hoping that with school ending next week whoever has my voodoo doll will quit having time to torture me.

No real change with Mom.  For a couple of weeks she seemed to make a slight effort to walk some but not really.  I don't think she's gone outside or gotten dressed in four days.  I call or buzz over there to make sure she isn't on the floor at least once a day but that is all I'm willing to do.  Frankly I'm just waiting for the event that hospitalized her and forces her into long term care.  I have told her several times that she cannot live with me if she becomes more dependent.  I don't think it has really occurred to her that the line is so close to her feet.

Last week we met with her disability lawyer to go over information for her hearing.  The lawyer really didn't prep her much citing she won't remember it anyway.  When Mom proudly said she lived alone the layer asked me "Is that an adventure?" he knew full well the answer because he is privy to all her medical records.  Next week we will haul up to Milwaukee for the hearing, the lawyer will have me testify as well as mom because it is clear she doesn't really understand her medical issues in the least.    The lawyer doubts she will be turned down but it's been a three year wait to get this far so I'm a little stressed about it.  There won't be a large influx of cash from getting her declared disabled but it will make her eligible for other programs.

Sonny Boy has overnight turned into the adolescent you are always warned about.  I honestly would send him off to a long summer camp if there was money in the hopes some of the hormone crazies might resolve before the end of summer.  Alas only a week of scout camp is going to happen and seeing his general disorganization it worries me greatly, since neither Hubby or I are going to attend to keep him regulated.  I do plan on calling a mom that is attending and asking her to keep a special eye on Sonny Boy.  I'm not worried about safety but his inability to plan things out.

A special aspect of my new son is his attitude.  This weekend he attended a weekend camp out.  The weather was beyond miserable and it was ended early.  To make a long story short I told him Monday morning to unpack his bag so I could wash the clothes (everything had gotten soaked) and he replied "that's your job".  I do really wish I could put the dog training collar on him.

Igor has thankfully been pretty mild lately though fighting with his prickly brother has increased.  He even fights in his sleep as I heard him in the middle of the night let out his famous whine "Sonny Boy".  I doubled over giggling in bed.  I do sense a nervousness in him with school ending, he really likes his teacher and doesn't want to leave her.  He's bummed because the teacher is moving up a grade next year but he won't be in her class.  It's probably a good thing really, I don't think she's a bad teacher but I think he needs a change.

Hubby and I are trudging along.  Chores, lawn, small house projects and putting out fires.  Hubby is consumed by the boat and fishing (wish the boat would sink).  I've been doing lots of yard work.

Think I'm going to watch for liquor sales, I'm going to need a lot with school ending.

2 comments:

Lin said...

Your son senses everything that is going on and is "testing" you to feel the limits. They all do it....you just have to sit on him and straighten out who you are and what you are willing to tolerate. It's a power-struggle to see what he can and cannot do and say to you. They all do it. It doesn't have to be bad if you set him straight and have support from your husband right from the get-go.

Boy scout camp will sort itself out if they boys are expected to do for themselves. A strong leader can be your best advocate IF they push the boys to handle things for themselves. Peer pressure can work wonders. I hope it works for you.

Thinking of you, always. You are in a tough place, but know that I send prayers for your sanity through all of it, my friend.

Winnie said...

Thanks Lin, I get it's a phase, just like the terrible twos but sometimes I'd just like to not deal with a phase.