Ever notice?

Have you ever noticed you can be dead dog tired, nodding off in front of the TV or your book, get ready for bed and BINGO you're wide awake?  Well that's me tonight.  The lights go off and my brain comes on.

Mom made it home from the hospital on the 31 st.  It's been wild ever since.  The living room looks like an old age home with all the walkers parked about.  I collectively refer to them as "the cripples" or "the invalids".  Yeah, yeah, I know not politically correct but holey crap if you can't laugh at this ridiculous situation there isn't much of an option.

I am very frustrated with Mom.  I took her to our local doctor last week and the doctor tore into her because she refused to let the heart doctor admit her!  The Cardiologist was trying to admit her long before the falling out episode that broke her pelvis but she refused.  Granted she still would have had the heart problems and likely stents, but at least she would have been on her feet.  I came very close to walking out and leaving her sitting in the doctor's office.  Mom is also refusing to follow doctor's orders about some urinary catheterization she is supposed to do.  When she was in the hospital she was taught how and when she came home the first time she tried it it worked.  After that it has been downhill.  I couldn't get her to do it all and finally after the visiting nurse, and MD got after her and she had two nights of wetting the bed she decided on trying it again, this time with two separate attempts that were failures.  The visiting nurse came on Monday morning and I had her walk mom thru the process again and this time I watched ( way more closely than I would have liked) so I could do it if needed. Well, that night I was needed.  Way more personal than you ever want to be with your mother.  Today I couldn't even get her to try, and frankly I'm tired of pushing it.  Physical therapy is coming tomorrow with a list of exercises she should start on.  I'm pretty sure that will be the same battle.  Heck she hasn't been dressed in at least 4 days, and I practically have to drag her to bathtub.  I'm really at a loss.  I feel like I am fighting an uphill losing battle with her at every turn.  I really don't know what to do.  I'm at the point where I'm ready to throw in towel I just don't know where to throw it.

I think what's really ticking  me off is that right now I can see no other option but to quit my job.  Not just to care for Mom, though that is part of it.  I took this job ( the change in position) with the understanding that she would be around to watch the kids in the afternoon - she agreed to this.  However it's become apparent that she's not making the most rational decisions and I'm not sure I trust her watching the boys.  I can't simply go back to my old position as it's been filled.  I'm really worried as to my work reputation in our small town if I quit.  Work has been great, but I fear that it won't be taken kindly if I quit two or three months trained into my current position.  Yes, I could simply hire a sitter but it would honestly cost me more to work than I would make, not making it a financially sound decision.  I Am Thankful we are not reliant on the income from my job, but it's a small town and people talk and someday I might like to work more seriously.  (edited) I'm still mulling this hard.

Coming back to the post three days later...

Sonny Boy is healing well.  Bored for the most part and watches WAY too much TV but it's not like I can tell him to go outside and play.  Every now and then I'll make him read a book or something.  He will go back to the doctor next week and will likely be sent to physical therapy.  That will be loads of fun, nothing like one more medical appointment to attend.

In an odd way, even though Hubby and I are slammed with stuff to do at home it's been calmer.  I guess anything is calmer than two family members in different hospitals an hour drive away at the same time.  Weekends which normally this time of year would have been spent at wrestling tournaments are quiet and consist of chores and hanging out.  My time off during the week has basically been booked for Mom's medical stuff as we have waves of therapists and home health care coming in during the week, not to mention numerous doctor appointments to go to.

I went to the doctor myself after my indigestion visit to the ER.  My doctor put me on some different meds and is weaning me off another med.  Yay, nothing like feeling like crap and not sure if it's new medicine or withdrawal from old medicine.  Frankly I don't expect to feel physically good for several weeks as I wean slowly off a medicine I've been taking for a long time.  Yeah, it appears a not so great doc put me on the medicine and frankly lied to me that "there is no problem" with me being on it long term.  Let's not mention the fact that it's physically addicting and random folks on the internet describe the withdrawal as worse than heroin.  After this bout I'm googling stuff I'm not familiar with.  Makes me feel like a dupe as I consider myself pretty savvy about stuff.

Igor went to the heart doctor today - heart doctor on Valentine's day funny huh?  All is good there, and he is pleased to report that the heart doctor said he cold play golf.  Yi, Yi, Yi, maybe if he was the heart doctor's kid and she could pay the green fees and lessons.  I'm not even gonna touch on the fact that there is no way he could see the hole flag a quarter mile off and never see where his ball landed.

Otherwise, life is moving along.  Normal stresses, normal life.  Stopped up kitchen sink, a mess in the oven that smoked up the house.  Never - ending snow to shovel.  Never - ending laundry to wash.  Life.

I'm finally gonna post this a week after I started it.  I've had a variety of crazy computer glitches.  The post got saved but once the computer dies I take that as my cue to quit.