Disaster

Ever worked on something for an extreme amount of time, put lots of effort into it and it turns out terrible. Well that's what happened today. I spent about six hours on this cake. Granted this is a practice cake and will not leave the house but I am very disappointed in it.

My fondant is lumpy and bumpy, creased, actually tore in places, the bow is not good, and the little flowers I thought were whimsical are just sort of sad.

I do know where I screwed up though, the cake was too soft, I used a devils food cake mix, I wasn't even able to frost the cake without it tearing hence the bumpy fondant. I also shouldn't have wrapped the fondant under the upper layer but I couldn't really pick it up it was so fragile. UGH, should have quit when I realized the cake was too fragile but I forged ahead. Just a disaster - at least I learned a few things not to do. Oh well that's why it's a practice cake and thank goodness it's small - only a 13 x 9 cake cut up. The worse part was the major mess it made of the kitchen.


Igor is totally testing my patience this last week. He has hit three years old with a vengeance. The kid whose nickname could have been "Mr. Mellow" has now turned into "Little Brat" and I don't mean brother! ( Brat mean brother in Russian if you didn't know) I have a hunch it has something to do with something happening at school. I've talked to his teacher and she hasn't seen anything out of the ordinary with him. I've tried to talk to Igor about things happening at school and the only thing he tells me is that A called him a "pumpkin". A is a pretty high strung kid so I'm wondering if more is really going on than Igor has the language skills to tell me about. Most of the bad behavior seems to happen right after school and then he'll settle down and be his normal self. Thankfully there is only about three more weeks of school left, hopefully if it's school related he will settle down.


The school district here has faced severe budget cuts this year and has decided to eliminate their Pre-K program next year, but they still haven't decided on just how they are going to handle IEP's. The difficult part is there are few options for pre-school here in Kornfield, only two small church based schools and neither are of denomination that we are comfortable with. Speaking with one mother of the pre-K crowd she has signed her son up already in one of the pre-schools but doesn't just how things will work. The school district is really leaving us hanging.


Well I suppose that's all. Look for my latest creation on that Cake Wrecks website.

We Ran Away...

Well at least for the weekend. We had a wonderful little get away, my mother-in-law flew in and watched the boys while Hubby and I had a nice get away here. Hubby and I found the place just wonderful, the owner Carol as friendly as could be and prices for a cabin rental very reasonable. We totally plan on taking the boys for a weekend when the weather warms and swimming and floating the river is an option for activities. The weekend was great, though the weather left a lot to be desired.

Two years Home.

Can you believe it's been two years already? My how time flies. Igor is doing wonderfully. He of course has some quirks, he, of course acts like a three year old but overall he's perfect. (though at this very instant he's sitting in time-out for fighting with his brother - brother is there as well)

Another blogger suggested we tell the success stories of adoption in light of the recent craziness by that woman. I'm not a writer, or a great story teller, in fact I read over every blog entry editing like a maniac at least 10 times before I post it. I don't have wonderfully syrupy words that portray our adoption of Igor as glorious. The process was horribly stressfull, we came home with a jet-lagged, terrified child and the first few months were quite the adjustment process. We made it though. Igor has adjusted wonderfully, he is mine, I am his. He will also tell you that. Unfortunately he doesn't include Daddy in this, but I think he will in time, when he realizes Dad is king of all things loud and masculine. It works in our family as Sonny Boy has always been Dad's boy from birth, one for each parent.

WE ARE AN ADOPTION SUCCESS STORY. Nothing fancy, just plain us. Igor home for good - no shipping him back like a pair of shoes (like I would anyway)

Random thoughts that have me on edge.

Bear with me here, I'm tired, should really go to bed but know things will swirl around in my mind too much to sleep tonight so maybe by writing all this brain garbage down it will dump into cyberspace and and allow me some sleep tonight.

I was just recently linking round on some blogs, just browsing around not looking for anything particular and came across a couple of blogs written by irate birth mothers that really ticked me off. I understand that these women feel as if they were forced into placing their child for adoption, and I will probably even give them the benefit of the doubt that some unsavory practices were used to get them to sign over their rights. However what I don't understand is their total nastiness to all adoption. I got the distinct impression that in their eyes adoption is awful, no matter what the circumstances and that really makes me mad. I really wanted to know if they thought that my adoption of Igor (or any other adoption from an orphanage) is a horrible thing, but quite frankly I'm tired and didn't feel like the fight, maybe I'll go battle it later. One blog had something to the effect of you don't know how a child's life would have turned out, you don't have a crystal ball. No, I don't have a crystal ball but I know what I saw with my own two eyes. I know I met a child who did not utter a sound because no one interacted with him beyond the bare necessities of keeping him alive, I know the child I adopted came to me with a back that was bruised black and blue and yellow from neck to tailbone, I know I adopted a child who was terrified of water as every bathing experience he had ever had was not fun or pleasant in the least, I know I adopted a child who did not know how to chew solid foods though he had a mouthful of teeth, I know I adopted a child who's birth mother LEFT him at the hospital to die and never once looked back to see if he was alive. These are things I know, and a person telling me (or whoever her intended audience was) it was wrong of me to give that child a family, food, teach him to speak, teach him to walk, teach him that baths are not torture and that he will ALWAYS have a mother, father and a big brother and a whole host of extended family to care for him is wrong makes my blood boil.

Today I attended a birthday party for another Ukrainian born child, at that party where two other Ukrainian adoptees besides my own. Four boys who will now have the best medical care, the best therapies, and birthday parties every year. Four boys who will have the chance to grow up in families that value them, families that will cherish them when their home countries and birth families did not. Does that woman who wrote that blog really think that is wrong? Would that blogger really think that these children are better off in an orphanage? I hope not.

I do understand that most of her anger was directed at domestic infant adoption, I do not discount the heartache that the birthmothers go through, but to be so irate against adoption in general I do no not understand. Acting as if infertile couples were the devil's spawn and that they could only see her as a womb. I just really want to ask that blogger does she honestly understand the pain that infertility brings to a couple? Can she put herself in their shoes and walk a mile or five, or go through the gauntlet of medical tests, probing (all of which are too personal) and the constant questions from family and friends as to when your going to start a family or add to it.

Sorry, I'll get off my soapbox now. Those blogs got my goat.

One more item that's gotten my goat is that crazy lady from TN who put her kid back on a plane and dumped him at the MOE (Ministry of Education) in Moscow. Again, I don't know what was going on in that household, and frankly I don't care. If she honestly felt there was a safety issue with the child being in her home there were so many better options available to her. At the very least she could have gone to the nearest police station and said I can no longer care for this child, or admitted him to a pyschiarict unit of a hospital. I really do hope that every charge that can be brought against her and the grandmother happens. I do feel sorry for the boy that was shipped back to Moscow like a pair of shoes, the bio child of that woman as I would imagine he'll end up in foster care now (hopefully he has some normal family members that will care for him) and my heart goes out to all those PAP's (prospective Adoptive Parents) in process as it appears at the very least there will be a severe slow down if not an outright stoppage of Russian adoptions for a while.

Well my brain garbage has dumped. You can probably tell from the amount of type-o's, grammatical errors and simple misspellings I'm tired.

That Smell is Me

You see I've been spending massive amounts of time at the barn since the weather started warming up. I'm there 4 days a week barring things like dentist appointments etc. I seem to have a miasma that is a blend of ammonia, manure, hay, and horse. It doesn't really bother me to be honest but the boots I work in REEK and they usually end up in the van as a home or I forget them so when the windows are rolled up and the sun is out - well you get the picture. Don't get me wrong though I LOVE IT.

The lessons are doing well. It seems I rarely ride the same horse more than a few times in a row, but it seems to be doing me well at learning to ride. If your a horse person you know each horse has his own quirks and gaits vary.

On top of all the barn living I've put in a small garden. For all the nastiness of this house it has a perfect sunny spot for a garden. I have early crops planted, turnips, lettuce, radish, peas and carrots. Once I've gotten everything prepped which took forever it's now starting to sprout and according to the seed packs I should have some veggies in about 60 days.

What I'm most excited about is a little vacation Hubby and I have planned. My mother-in-law is going to fly down and stay with the boys while we go stay at a cabin a couple of hours away. The place we are staying looks like it will be very peaceful as it's on a working horse/cattle farm and they only have two guest cabins along with their main house. The place offers long trail rides that I plan on taking advantage of, is on a river that is floatable with a canoe so we may take the canoe, fish and there are several tourist traps nearby. Our real goal is to simply sit on the porch with a glass of wine/beer and watch the animals graze and enjoy quiet which is a rare commodity here.

Sonny Boy had his first baseball practice today, he is playing machine pitch. I'm excited as it seems to be the first sport he's taken and interest in. He did play soccer in the fall but I don't think he was too thrilled with it, however baseball he's actually going out into and practicing. He has had some blips lately, not following rules and testing boundries so he's been grounded so much I think he might actually forget how to play some of his video games.

Igor is starting to really be a pest lately and showing his rear on occasion. Nothing horrible, but it does cause me to grind my teeth on occasion. I think what his habit that makes my blood boil is the constant questions; " Mom why you got that pencil? Mom what you cooking? " two minutes later " Mom what you cooking?", "Mom why you stand up? Mom why you go to baffroom?" AAAAAAA I totally realize this is all normal and good but OH MY it is so wearing to have every breath questioned through the day and I feel I must respond because he really is doing this just to learn.

Well, I must really get to bed, I've been up very late the last few nights doing a whole lot of nothing and it's catching up with me so off to the shower I go to wash away the barn

The Health Care Bill

Since it seem the world is having a tizzy over the health care bill I'm gonna put my two cents in.

I like it. Is it perfect? No, a far cry from it, but it's a start.

I'm not going to argue the pros and cons other than I like that it extends the Adoption Tax Credit for another year which is a Pro.

What really makes me angry is the nastiness spilled out from those who oppose it. It seems people will copy and paste anything they see that they happen to agree with concerning the bill without even stopping to look up the simpliest fact. EDUCATE yourself and make up your own mind. If your going to declare the bill unconstitional give me the Article and section , or the amendment you think it goes against. For your reference the Constitution is in the back of most big dictionaries. I have seen people railing it goes against X amendment so I look up that amendment and I can't for the life of me see where they are getting the arguement and when I ask how it goes against that I get treated like I'm stupid, when I'm simply trying to see things from their point of view and fact is, they can't back up their arguement they are simply spouting something they heard some crazy on talk radio say.

I don't care what your opinion of the bill is but make sure it's YOUR opinion, not your brother's, your co-worker's, your church's or your favorite talk show host.

It's time for some Grass Roots Action!

Ok I've blogged about this before - at least twice - but I'm gonna do it again. You see I feel this is REALLY important, I feel it is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING you can do for orphans beyond adopting and dozen or three (and face it most of us can't adopt more than two or three)

Stop, click on the following link, and take the 10 -15 minutes to write your two senators and the representative from your district concerning HR213. This bill will extend the Adoption Tax Credit. This link will give you sample form letters, easy links to get in touch with the right reps for your district and information on who is co-sponsoring the bill. Jennifer has done a good job putting all this together don't let it be all for naught.

http://adoptiontaxcredit.blogspot.com/

Please just don't sit around on your hands with this. Let your congress people know you want this bill passed! If you've written in the past, write again!

I'm also challenging you to put a link to this on your facebook page, your blog, and to spam your friends and family. Get the word out!

Honestly I'm not one to get involved in political stuff. I'll voice my opinion about who I want for office with a yard sign, I'll go vote, occasionally hubby and I will argue a political point or two, and I do mean argue - opposites attract ya know. I do not normally go all out writing congresspeople about every issue, I don't harass friends and family to do it either; but I can't let a tax credit fall by the wayside that gives untold families the ability to adopt that normally no have the chance at affording it.

If you have claimed this tax credit, or you will complete an adoption this year and claim it, you owe it to those behind you to take this one simple step to secure their ability to adopt.

Use your power as an American to speak up!

Two Year Mark

Two years ago today was our appointment with the SDA in Kiev, Ukraine. Nervous does not even begin to describe how we were feeling walking into the inconspicuous door on the side of large non-descript government building. Would we be shown children in our age range? Would be shown children with disabilities that would be way beyond our ability to tackle? We weren't even sure if it'd be a boy or a girl. Had we just mortgaged our house for a trip to a country we would have never vacationed in? We were shown several files, most of the children had severe disabilities, more than we could ever have taken on, generally we didn't even need the scant information given us about the child, it was easily seen in his/her picture. We were reluctant and starting to discuss the possibility of asking for another appointment when the lady left the room and came back with Igor's file. The little information we were given on him was shaky but but much less scary than the other and the picture was of a completely normal appearing infant though we knew he was much older

Igor's referral picture at SDA, about 5 months old

After a day of waiting on paperwork, sightseeing in Kiev and an overnight train ride across the country we met Igor.

Second visit with Igor on the afternoon we met him.

I'll let you go through back to March '08 for all the details of the next few days. Today is another story though. Today marks the anniversary of our very scared and tentative agreement to go see this child. Though it was a couple of more days before we actually saw Igor and a few more days before we made the commitment to him to be his parents. March 11 will always be an important date in our family.

Currently Igor is thriving. While I wouldn't call him on target for all the areas developmental specialist look at, he's come a long way Baby! Honestly I can't tell you how many inches he's grown, I do know he's gained about 12 lbs though. Not bad for a kid that gagged when fed lumpy applesauce when he got here. Igor flew home in a size 12 month jumper. Today he's wearing 2T and 3T for his length, but he needs a belt to hold them up. His speech has improved so dramatically in the last 6 months it's amazing. He asks so many questions it will make your head spin. " What's that for?, Why you do that?, What's that in your hand? Where's Daddy? What are you cooking? " so on and so forth. I will tell you the kid questions EVERY move I make during the day. This from a kid who did not speak at all in any language when we met him and was considered very delayed even by orphanage standards.

Emotionally I don't think we could ask for more. He is strongly attached to me and Sonny Boy, Hubby maybe not as much but he certainly seeks out Hubby and is happy to get snuggles from his dad as well as his mom. I don't have any qualms about that at all.

Igor does have a few funny quirks. He cackles when he laughs, like a witch in a movie, seriously it cracks me up to just hear him. I don't think he ever giggles like a normal child but he sure cackles a lot. Igor also is a neat freak. He cleans up behind every one of us (when he wants to of course) and thinks getting to put things in the garbage is the neatest thing in the world. Overall he's an easy going child who is eager to please. I really get the impression that sometimes he can't believe his luck! Don't get me wrong we still get a lot of typical three year old stuff, he can whine with the best of them - like nails on a chalkboard to me, he and Sonny Boy will go at it tooth and nail sometimes and if there was an award for pouting he'd win it.

Igor just the other day on our museum visit.

I know many people stumble over my blog looking for experiences in Ukrainian adoption, adoption of a toddler, international adoption and the like. That's good, that's why I started this blog, my idea of public service to the international adoption world. Goodness knows that reading blogs taught me so much about the process, cultural experiences while in country and something of what to expect. While I know the actual adoption process has changed somewhat from our trip I like to think there are still some lessons to be learned from my experience if your game for digging into the back posts.

Please don't think I post all sunshine and lollipops and hide the bad concerning Igor. We certainly face our challenges with Igor but nothing I find overwhelming. I say this to tell you that many of the children that come home from other countries are perfectly fine after an adjustment period (see ours in the archives) and I believe that's why many people discontinue blogging not long after returning home, they are just too busy living a life of school, work, soccer and dance class and no longer have the time, energy or need the outlet that blogging provides. It seems to me the blogs you find that are long running after returning home tend to come from people who are facing major difficulties with issues such as PTSD, RAD and a whole alphabet soup of diagnoses. While these letters are certainly a possibility that every prospective adoptive parent should be well versed in and know the signs of, they are really relatively rare and many times when present can be worked through and the family can find their new normal. So basically what I'm saying is don't let all stuff scare you away from adoption, yes it is scary, yes the child can have major issues, yes all sorts of nightmares may follow. You know what though? All the alphabet soup of problems (with the possible exception of FAS) can and do occur when people give birth, granted they are more rare but there are children born into the most wonderful and loving homes with RAD, and we are all just one horrible experience (ie bad car accident) from developing PTSD.

Now on to the more mundane stuff of life.

Gosh I have been busy but also so lazy. I've ridden twice this week and of course have still been working at the barn. I've decided to put in a little garden though there is nothing but grass in the backyard which is proving a problem when trying to dig up a plot. Hubby has said he will help me dig this weekend. I suppose a roto-tiller is in order but I'm trying do this on the cheap so a shovel will work. The biggest problem is the amount of grass which really must be dug out mostly by hand anyway. What inspired all the farmer Winnie you ask? (or maybe not) I watched the documentary Food Inc. If you haven't seen it - well I don't know what to tell you. It's certainly disturbing knowing where our food comes from. While I knew livestock did not live idyllic lives in pastures I liked to pretend anyway. Honestly makes you think. I think though that if we ever live in a place where a few chickens and a pig or two could be handled I might do it. While I like animals as pets, I like to eat bacon too and knowing the animal was kept humanely would ease something in my mind.

So I guess that's about it. Really must do something around here or the health department may show up.

Busy doing a whole lot of Nothing

The last few days have been pretty busy, but I couldn't really tell you just what we've all been doing. Hubby has been working massive hours so he's really just a person who wanders in, eats, showers, sleeps and leaves again. The kids had a whole two weeks of school without a holiday or an early release, SHOCK. They seem to get out of school constantly here. I don't know if it's that way in the rest of the world but I know holidays and early release were pretty rare when I was a kid.

Yesterday was yet another holiday, Casimir Pulaski Day, it appears he's a Polish Revolutionary War Hero? Who knew but evidently Illinois thinks he's worth a holiday for. Since the kids were out of school and St. Louis schools were in session I thought it a good day to take advantage of some kid activities in the city. I wanted to go the Magic House as that is the children's museum in St. Louis but alas it is closed on Mondays. So we settled for the Missouri History Museum and a trip to the St. Louis Science Center. All nice facilities but the Science center is much more interactive and kid friendly. Sonny Boy did like the history museum, Igor not so much when you can really monkey all over everything.

Sonny Boy at the Science Center Discovery Room

Sonny Boy and Igor in the 1904 World's Fair Exhibit, how would you like to wear those get-ups to the fair?

Igor and Sonny Boy at the Science Center Discovery Room - is this politically incorrect?

A couple of things I have learned through trial and error, and some here in there when going out for an outing with the kids. 1) Dress them in the same bright color, makes them much easier to pick out in a crowd of kids 2) Write your cell phone number is sharpie on their arm or stomach in case they are separated from you. Hopefully, they'll remember it's there and can ask someone to call you and tell you where they are. I saw this tip and thought it wise for anywhere you might become separated from your children.

I've also been busy decorating a cake. I took this over to Hubby's co-worker's house Sat and we sat around and visited while Sonny Boy played WAY too much DS and Igor watched too many cartoons.

Rose detail of cake, hand modeled roses out of gum paste

The entire cake, the cake was strawberry, hence the pink theme.

I'm not entirely pleased with this cake. I could not get the icing smooth no matter what I tried so it's lumpy and bumpy, there's also some visible cake crumbs as well. I guess that smooth icing will come with practice. The hearts on the side were a last minute idea, Hubby did not like them and though it would have been better off without them.

Honestly what is your opinion of the cake. I'd really like your honest constructive criticism on this both design wise or anything else. I'm thinking I may start this up a little side job someday, hence the need to practice. What would you think is a fair price for this cake?

Musings...

I bought a different kind of fabric softener than usual and I keep smelling it. It's a nice scent but my nose will not adjust. I guess I need not worry about my clothes smelling like horse after a trip to the barn, the horse smell may drown out the flowers.

The trashy neighbors across the street moved out. YAY, they left so much junk the landlord had a dumpster dropped off this morning in order to clean things up. The yard is horrid, I shudder to think what they've done to the inside of the place. Renters like that make me glad we've been able to keep from having renters in the house up in WI. I know all renters are not like that (we aren't!) but it only takes a couple of bad apples to spoil a whole barrell.

In case you haven't figured it out from my previous posts I'm starting to decorate some cakes now as a hobby. I've always done it some but wanted to get a little fancier with it. Yesterday I found an awesome coupon for 40% off of any item at Michael's. I figured a trip to Michaels was in order to use it and get some more neet gadgets, like a man with tools you can not have too many cake decorating things once you get going. I bought a little set of cutters to make sugar flowers that came along with a book. I got home opened the package, flipped through the book and left it on the kitchen counter. Hubby decided to let Sonny Boy help "cook" supper and Sonny Boy promptly slopped a cup or more of water on the kitchen cabinet, no big deal except for the fact that Hubby didn't bother to pick up the book and is soaked in water for over an hour before I discovered it. Needless to say my new book now looks like it's 20 years old. I'm not a happy camper. I don't even know if it's legible as it's made out of coated magazine paper which tends to stick together. I went through it last night and placed paper towels between each page and pressed it for a while, then ironed the pages to get most of the moisure out, replaced with dry towels and put it between two book for the night. I haven't had the umpth to get up and see how my rescue efforts faired. I am not amused.

Hubby and the boys did scrape the ugly sunflower border off the boy's bedroom walls this weekend. We had intended to removed it when we moved it but you know how that goes. We've been here so long now and gotten used to looking at it so we wouldn't have bothered but for some reason Sonny Boy decided to pick at it and tore up a good section of it so it was either leave it messed up or remove it. Now we have a room with the upper portion painted yellow and the lower paintd and odd color of green with no divide like a chair rail or anything between. I think I will pick up some paint chips and hope to match the yellow and paint the green portion. I'm not in love with the yellow but I don't want to paint the whole room.

We enjoyed a visit from G this week. He came over and ate supper with us one night. It was nice to have another adult to speak with as Hubby and I heard all of each other's stories, and Hubby is sometimes the only adult I have a conversation with for days at a time. Kornfield is not the most accepting town to outsiders, it seems if you have not lived here 20+ years nobody will give you the time of day. I understand why the place is dieing as it does not welcome newcomers what so ever.

Well I suppose that's all for now, I must try to down some more coffee and be a little productive this morning, but in reality I just want to take a nice nap.